I’m bargaining with the snooze button like it’s a hostage negotiator. The productivity secrets of top entrepreneurs I actually use? This dumb little ritual where I chug yesterday’s cold brew, spill half of it on my hoodie, and then open my laptop to 47 tabs from last night’s “quick research” spiral. Pro tip: put your phone in the bathroom the night before. Forces you to get out of bed to shut off the alarm. Learned that one after I threw my phone across the room and cracked the screen. Again.
- Hydrate first (even if it’s flat LaCroix that tastes like TV static)
- Write three things on a sticky note (mine currently says “eat. shower. don’t cry on zoom”)
- Play one song that slaps—currently on a Chappell Roan loop, don’t @ me
The Time I Thought “Hustle Culture” Meant Never Sleeping (Spoiler: It Doesn’t)
So back in 2023 I decided to “optimize” like the big dogs. Read some thread on X about how Bezos only sleeps 4 hours and thought, “Bet.” Ended up hallucinating that my plants were talking to me. One of them—Greg, the pothos—told me to touch grass. I cried. The productivity secrets of top entrepreneurs that actually saved me? This one weird trick: I started scheduling “nothing” blocks in my calendar. Like, legit 2-hour chunks labeled “stare at wall or nap.” Revolutionary. This study from the Journal of Occupational Health Psychology backs it up but I didn’t read the whole thing because, well, time.
My Dumb-but-Effective Productivity Secrets of Top Entrepreneurs When Deadlines Are Laughing at Me
- The 25/5 chaos pomodoro: Work 25, then pace my 400 sq ft apartment yelling at Alexa to play “something with a beat.” Once did the Macarena mid-spreadsheet. Zero regrets.
- Accountability via shame: Text a friend “if I don’t send this by 4PM I owe you $20.” Works until you forget and Venmo them at 3:59 like a coward.
- Delete first, ask questions later: Social apps? Gone. Came back to 112 notifications and felt like I’d won the lottery in reverse.
Tools That Don’t Make Me Want to Yeet My Laptop (Mostly)
Look, I’m not out here building custom Notion dashboards with 47 toggle lists. My productivity secrets of top entrepreneurs are held together with:
- Google Keep because it’s already there and I’m lazy
- This one playlist titled “focus or perish” (it’s just lo-fi and ocean sounds, fight me)
- Voice memos where I record ideas while walking to the corner store for more iced coffee. Once captured a pitch while ordering a hoagie. The cashier clapped.
The Evening Routine I Swear By (Until I Don’t)
The productivity secrets of top entrepreneurs include winding down, allegedly. Mine is: close laptop, ignore the 17 Slack pings, drink chamomile that tastes like hot grass, and journal three “wins.” Today’s were:
- Didn’t spill coffee on client
- Remembered to feed cat
- Didn’t Google symptoms at 1AM (progress!)
Sometimes I skip it and doomscroll until my eyes burn. Then I hate myself at 7AM. Cycle continues.
The Time I Accidentally Replied-All My Grocery List to an Investor
True story: was batching emails, got distracted by a TikTok about air fryers, hit send on “don’t forget oat milk and dino nuggets” to a Series A lead. They replied with a dinosaur emoji. We closed the round anyway. Moral: humans are messy, investors are human, productivity secrets of top entrepreneurs include embracing the oops.
Anyway. These productivity secrets of top entrepreneurs are just my brain dumps from a dude who still can’t find his left AirPod and once used a pizza box as a mousepad. Steal what works, ditch what doesn’t, and for the love of God eat something before you try to “optimize” your sleep. What’s your go-to move when your brain’s fried? Drop it below—I’ll probably steal it and claim it’s mine.
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