okay so self-care isnt selfish – i used to roll my eyes at that crap, like back when i was pulling 14 hour days staring at my laptop in this damp seattle apartment, rain smacking the window like it was mad at me for not sleeping. id skip food, chug cold brew, and wonder why i felt like garbage. then last tuesday i legit snapped at my cat for knocking over a plant – embarrassing af. sat there on the floor with dirt on my hands and thought, dude, this is dumb. if im a zombie how am i helping anyone? anyway thats when it hit me.
why self-care isnt selfish in my actual life
so heres the thing, i kept thinking i had to hustle harder to “earn” a break. like nah bro, self-care isnt selfish, its survival. started forcing myself to walk outside, feel the wet air, hear the seagulls yelling over trash. sounds basic but my brain actually quieted down. read some apa thing [https://www.apa.org/topics/self-care] that says burnout messes with relationships – yeah, i ghosted my friends for weeks. now i journal my dumb thoughts instead of doomscrolling. still forget sometimes and relapse into netflix at 2am but whatever, progress.
self-care isnt selfish even when im babysitting
no kids but my niece was over last weekend and i tried to be fun uncle, running around nonstop. by 6pm i was hangry and grumpy over legos – cringe. thats when i realized, five minutes to drink water and stretch by the humming fridge woulda made me way less of a jerk. mayo clinic says this stuff boosts empathy [https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/self-care/art-20346878] and yeah, after a quick nap we were laughing instead of me grumbling. but heres the contradiction: sometimes i overdo it, binge shows all day and feel guilty. balance is hard yall.
self-care isnt selfish: tips from my flops
real talk, heres what actually worked (and didnt):
- bubble baths with podcasts – cheap lavender soap from the corner store, drowns out the neighbors dog
- phone-free walks – leave it charging, feel the cracked sidewalk, ideas just pop up
- saying no – skipped a zoom happy hour to read, felt weird but slept like a baby
tried meal prepping once and forgot it in the fridge – moldy chicken, epic fail. harvard health has a good article [https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/self-care-is-not-selfish-2020040119413] on why this matters. anyway self-care isnt selfish if its sustainable, not some pinterest fantasy.
when self-care isnt selfish goes wrong (my cringiest)
tried meditating on lunch break, stomach growled so loud i laughed and broke the vibe. another time splurged on a massage but stressed about bills the whole time – pointless. thought yoga was lame, tried it in my living room, tripped on the rug, but my back stopped hurting. its all messy trial and error. american hustle culture makes it worse, were wired to grind. but prioritizing mental health? total game changer.
Anyway self-care isnt selfish, heres the wrap up
from my rainy seattle spot right now, coffee going cold, cat judging me – self-care isnt selfish, its the oxygen mask thing. still mess up, still contradict myself, but im better for my people when i do it. try one tiny thing today, maybe tell me in the comments what you picked? no pressure tho.
