My Flawed, Human Journey
Okay, full disclosure: I wrote this intro three times. First draft was too preachy, second draft had a weird tangent about microwave popcorn, and now we’re here. Tiny habits massive results? Sure, but also sometimes I eat cereal for dinner and call it “self-care.”
Point is, I’m not a productivity guru. I’m the person who once Googled “how to adult” at 3 AM. But somehow, these stupid little habits worked—even when I did them half-assed. Here’s the proof, typos and all:
1. The “Toothbrush by the Coffee Maker” Hack
Theory: Put your toothbrush where you make coffee = automatic morning routine.
Reality: Some days I brush my teeth while the coffee brews. Other days I stare at the toothbrush and whisper, “Not today, Satan.”
Did it help? Surprisingly, yes. My dentist stopped sighing at me.
2. The “One-Minute Rule” (I Follow… Sometimes)
The rule: If it takes less than a minute, do it now.
My execution: Sees lone sock on floor. “Is folding a sock a minute? Feels like a minute. Maybe two. I’ll do it later.”
But when I do it? My apartment looks 12% less like a tornado hit it.
3. “Fake Deadlines” (Because Panic Works)
I tell myself, “Finish this report by 5 PM or you can’t watch Netflix.”
Result: 4:58 PM me is a machine. 5:01 PM me is eating ice cream straight from the tub.
4. “Two-Minute Vent Journal” (Cheaper Than Therapy)
Instead of forcing gratitude, I rant for two minutes. Today’s entry: “Who decided ‘reply all’ should exist?”
5. “Parking Lot Stretches” (Embrace the Weird)
Before driving home, I touch my toes in the Trader Joe’s parking lot. People stare. My back thanks me.
6. “Phone Sleeps in the Kitchen” (Mostly)
Goal: Charge phone outside the bedroom to stop midnight scrolling.
Reality: Some nights I “accidentally” bring it to bed. Other nights, I stare at the ceiling like a Victorian ghost. Progress?
7. “The 1% Rule” for Procrastination
Can’t start the big thing? Do 1% of it. Open the document. Write one sentence.
Example: This bullet point was my 1% today. Congrats, you’re witnessing growth.
Conclusion: Imperfect > Unattempted
These habits massive results aren’t glamorous. I forget them constantly. But they’ve saved me from myself more times than I can count.
Outbound Links:
- James Clear on Atomic Habits (for credibility)
- A study on habit stacking (to sound smart)
Final Note: This post was written with one contact lens in, and I only cried twice. Perfection is a myth.
Bonus: My “Failed” Habits Hall of Shame
- “Meditate Daily”: Lasted 1.5 days. Now I just lie on the floor and call it “mindfulness.”
- “Meal Prep Sundays”: Ate prepped food by Tuesday. Wednesday was cereal. Again.
