Why I’m Qualified to Talk About This (I’m Not)
Look, I’m no philosopher. Last week I cried because my avocado was too ripe. But after seeing that one quote reposted by my ex’s new partner (rude), I realized we all pretend to understand famous quotes way more than we actually do.
Take “Carpe Diem.” For years I thought it meant “live fast die young” until I Googled it at 3AM and wow, turns out Horace wasn’t telling teenagers to vape behind the 7-Eleven.
1. “The Journey Is the Destination” – Some Hiker Probably
What I Thought It Meant:
“Enjoy being lost and miserable!” (Said by people whose “journeys” involve Instagrammable Bali retreats.)
What It Actually Means:
The time you spend figuring stuff out is where the real growth happens. Like when I tried baking sourdough during lockdown and produced what scientists later classified as a new form of cement.
How I Applied It Wrong:
- Got mad when my first podcast episode had 3 listens (my mom, my cat, a bot)
- Almost gave up entirely
How To Actually Apply It:
- Celebrate terrible first drafts (saved mine here to shame myself into improving)
- Track progress monthly – my 10th episode got *7* whole listens!
2. “Money Can’t Buy Happiness” – Rich People
What Privileged Folks Think It Means:
“You poor peasants are spiritually richer!” (Said while sipping $25 cold brew.)
The Ugly Truth:
Money can buy happiness up to about $75k/year (science says so). After that? It buys comfort, which we confuse for happiness.
My Glaring Hypocrisy:
- Tweeted this quote in 2019
- Same day spent $80 on a candle that smelled like “unfulfilled potential”
How To Actually Use This Quote:
- Budget for experiences over stuff (my “regret candle” vs. $80 concert tickets)
- Recognize when you’re using shopping as therapy (75% of my H&M purchases)
3. “Love Yourself First” – Every Influencer Ever
The Toxic Interpretation:
“Be 100% healed before dating!” (Meanwhile, the person who posted this is on their 5th situationship this month.)
The Messy Reality:
You learn to love yourself through relationships too. My breakthrough came when a date said “You apologize too much” and I cried in the Uber home.
How To Apply This Without Losing Your Mind:
- Date while aware of your flaws, not “perfect”
- Keep a “WTF?” journal of patterns (turns out I attract emotionally unavailable men because I was emotionally unavailable – plot twist!)
Final Thoughts: We’re All Hypocrites (And That’s Okay)
The secret no one tells you? You’ll misapply these quotes constantly. I once used “YOLO” to justify getting bangs. Twice.
Try This Instead:
- Pick one famous quotes that stings a little
- Apply it badly
- Learn why you failed
- Repeat forever
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go re-read my own advice and still probably ignore it.
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