My Messy, Real Take on Self-Love and Mental Health
Self-love and mental health are my daily grind, but it’s not all cute Instagram quotes and lavender candles. I’m in my cramped Brooklyn apartment right now, the radiator hissing like it’s mad at me, sipping coffee from a mug that’s honestly seen better days. Outside, the city’s alive—horns honking, people yelling—and I’m staring at a fridge magnet that says, “You’re enough.” Half the time, I don’t buy it. But figuring out how to love myself, even a little, has been a wild, messy ride, and I’m spilling it all, warts and all.
Like, last week, I legit cried in a CVS aisle. Picture me in baggy sweatpants, clutching a Snickers bar, tearing up over shampoo options. It wasn’t about the shampoo—it was this wave of “I’m not enough.” Those moments? They’re the real, raw stuff nobody talks about when it comes to self-compassion and mental wellness.
Why Self-Love Boosts Mental Wellness
Self-love and mental health are like the ultimate duo—think mac and cheese, messy but perfect. I used to think self-care was just buying overpriced lattes or posting a selfie with a “#vibes” caption. But it’s deeper. It’s sitting with the gross thoughts—like when I’m up at 3 a.m., convinced I’m a failure—and still choosing to be kind to myself.
Here’s what I’ve figured out:
- Mental wellness needs kindness. You can’t hate yourself into feeling good. I tried. Didn’t work.
- Small steps count. Yesterday, I showered before noon. Major win for my emotional health.
- Screw-ups are okay. I skipped journaling for weeks. Still here, still trying.
My Biggest Self-Compassion Fails
Okay, real talk—I’ve made some dumb moves chasing inner peace. There was this time I signed up for a yoga class in Manhattan, thinking it’d fix me. Showed up in my rattiest leggings, surrounded by yoga queens, and—yep—I farted during downward dog. Loud. I bolted and never went back. I was so obsessed with “becoming better” that I forgot to just be me.
Another flop? I thought self-care meant spending money. Dropped $40 on fancy candles, thinking they’d boost my mental wellness. Nope. My wallet cried, and I still felt like trash. What actually helped was free stuff—like strolling through Prospect Park, feeling the breeze, or venting to my best friend.
Tips for Loving Yourself When It’s Tough
I’m no guru, but here’s some advice from my own messy journey:
- Start tiny. Write one thing you like about yourself. Mine’s “I’m great at binge-watching.” Stick it on your mirror.
- Feel the feels. Last month, I let myself sob over a dumb argument. Felt awful, then lighter.
- Find your crew. My friend Jess listens to my rants, no judgment. That’s huge for my headspace.
How Therapy Flipped My Self-Love Game
Therapy’s been a lifeline for my self-compassion, but it wasn’t instant magic. My first therapist was this dude who just nodded like a bobblehead. Quit after three sessions. Then I found Sarah, who calls me out when I’m dodging my feelings. She’s taught me that loving yourself is about showing up, even when you’re a mess.
Want more on therapy’s benefits? Check out this piece from the American Psychological Association. It’s got solid info on how it supports emotional health.
Wrapping Up This Chat
So, yeah, self-love and mental health are a journey, not a TikTok trend. I’m still stumbling through it, dodging dirty dishes in my apartment and overthinking everything. But every time I choose kindness—like when I let myself eat cereal for dinner and call it a win—I get closer to feeling okay.
